Beginners Guide to BDSM Terms, Phrases, and Acronyms

Beginners Guide to BDSM Terms, Phrases, and Acronyms

Whether you’ve heard about BDSM through Fifty Shades of Grey, or by watching kinky and nasty pornstars, knowing some of the most common BDSM terms will help you discover and better understand this porn category and lifestyle. We prepared the ones you’re most likely to come across and put them into a list, a beginner BDSM guide of sorts. Let’s start with the basics and go from there.

BDSM

A lot of people get this acronym wrong or somewhat right. So, what does BDSM stand for? It’s overlapping and refers to a lot of different practices, fetishes, and kinks. BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism.

BD

This can either be an acronym for bondage and domination or bondage and discipline, depends on what gets your motor running. BD is specific and involves no infliction of pain during bondage and humiliation role-play.

Masochism

If experiencing pain turns you on, then you’re a masochist, and you’ll have a lot of fun in the world of BDSM.

Bondage

Bondage is for those that are aroused by being restrained or restraining others. You can also try out solo or self-bondage. Tools and toys of this trade include ropes, collars, tape, handcuffs, and so on.

Breast Bondage

This is a subset of bondage play where special attention is given to a girl’s breasts. They can be wrapped to make them flat or squeezed and made to bulge with rope, sometimes until they turn red or purple. Not for the faint of heart.

Clamping

Another interesting one, clamping is performed with clips, clamps, clothespins, and pegs, or anything that can squeeze and pinch someone’s nipples or skin. The combination of being pinched and the expectation of getting the implement removed creates sexual pleasure.

Kinbaku

Also known as Japanese bondage or shibari, this bondage play uses ropes to subdue a submissive partner. At the same time, complex or intricate patterns are created.

Limits

Watching BDSM videos is one thing, but trying it with someone else is another. That’s why you need to set limits. This means that you’ll discuss and agree on what’s allowed before starting BDSM play. Moreover, the use of a safe word is suggested so that you can end a session immediately if anyone wants to stop.

Aftercare

Pushing your sexual limits is fine, but afterward, you need some aftercare. This involves relaxing and calming each other and talking about what you experienced. Emotions felt during BDSM play can be intense, especially when sado-masochism is involved.

Kinkster

Kinksters are BDSM enthusiasts who either want to partake in or watch BDSM play. As a kinkster, you can have one or a countless number of kinks that you like to indulge or explore.

Munch

When a kinkster wants to go out and meet likeminded people, he can go to a munch. This a social gathering of kinksters and a good starting point if you want to take on the BDSM lifestyle.

Femdom

The term femdom has seeped into mainstream porn I would say. It can refer to a type of BDSM scenes or relations in which a woman is the dominant partner.

Pegging

But watch out for those femdoms who are into pegging with a strap-on or dildo, unless you like getting your ass penetrated.

Master

No need to go in depth here. A master is a name used for a dominant male partner.

Bottom

This term is used by gay guys end and in the BDSM scenes. As far as BDSM goes, it refers to a submissive person who is on the receiving end of pegging as well as the one being restrained or dominated.

Chastity Belt

This is a device which you can wear and which prevents you or anyone from touching and using your private parts. The dominant person, male or female, has the key while the sub wears the belt.

CBT

Short for cock and ball torture, CBT focuses on male genitals for the goal of humiliation, masochism, or sadism. During CBT, a dominant might spank, flog, slap, tickle, or pinch the cock and balls.

Collar

A sub wears a collar which a symbol of ownership. Collars usually have rings made out of metal so that a leash can be used. Hello, puppy play!

Brat

If your sub is misbehaving and acting up immaturely, then you’ve got a brat on your hands. Punishing them is a special treat.

Pain Slut

A pain slut doesn’t have to be submissive, but she has to love experiencing lots of pain, and aren’t always submissive.

DM

No, it’s not a direct message or dungeon master, it’s the acronym for dungeon monitor. This person chaperones and overseas everything at a BDSM gathering or fetish dungeon.

Dungeon

This is what you call a building, room or other designated space used for BDSM play. It often has toys and equipment and is used by professionals for clients or for a private session in someone’s home.

Black Sheet Party

If you like BDSM, you’ll love black sheet parties. These are orgies involving many people who like to engage in different types of BDSM play.

24/7

Some people like to spice up their love from time to time, and others live the BDSM lifestyle 24/7. This refers to being in a sub/dom relationship all the time. People also call it a total power exchange or master/slave relationship. Consenting subs hand over the reigns and do everything a dominant partner wants.

Fetish

A fetish involves sexual excitement, pleasure or fixation with a specific object, a certain experience or type of BDSM play. It can also be called a kink.

Play

Play covers a large number of different fetish-related activities. Anything physical, mental or sexual done within a session of BDSM can be thought of as play or a BDSM scene.

Breath Control

This refers to a BDSM session during which the dominant partner has some or full control over a sub’s breathing.

Medical Play

Medical play can involve speculums, latex gloves, insertion of various instruments, uniforms, injections, gags, and restraints. Basically anything related to a hospital setting.

Latex Play

Cleaning and wearing Latex clothing or boots and shoes for sexual arousal is called Latex Play. It often involves a dominant partner in Latex being worshipped or a submissive wearing a mask made out of latex during other BDSM activities.

Animal Play

Simply put, this refers to role-playing where one participant or more act as an animal. The most common animal play is puppy play and pony play. The first can involve bowl training, leashes, barking etc., while for the later a bridle might be used or the sub might get straddled like a horse.

Edge Play

It’s not edging, as in prolonging your orgasm, but edge play, the act of pushing limits to the edge of what is deemed safe or consensual by participants in BDSM play. It can involve all sorts of play, it is subjective and should be done with someone who you trust.

Age Play

Age play is mostly known as daddy/daughter and mommy/baby play. This role-playing is based on nurturing between a sub and dominant partner and doesn’t have to have any incestuous connotations.

Gun Play

With gun play, sexual arousal is achieved by using water, toy or replica guns in different ways.

Impact Play

Impact play is used by a domina or master for arousal excitement, humiliation, or punishment of a sub. The tools of this trade are whips, paddles, floggers, riding crops, canes, whips, and so on.

Bastinado

Bastinado usually happens during impact play and refers to the whipping or canning of a submissive’s feet, often while he or she is in bondage and restrained.

Paddling

Paddling also belongs to impact play. The targets for paddling are the butt, breasts, stomach, thighs and even private parts.

Flogging

Flogging is carried out with a flogger device, most often a simple or a multi-tailed whip, as well as a rod.

Fire Play

Sexual arousal and/or punishment is achieved with Fire Play by things like matches, candles, and specific BDSM devices and products. As with many types of bdsm play, fire play must be done with caution, consent, and preparation.

Electro Play

Using stun guns, prods, and other devices for electrical stimulation to achieve humiliation, domination, excitement or torture falls under electro play or electronic stimulation play.

Knife Play

It sounds nasty, but knife play is about using a knife point or edge to arouse, excite, or provoke fear in a partner without cutting into the skin. This kind of play requires a trusting relationship.

Golden Shower

This one you might already know as it’s been around for decades in porn. Golden showers involve pissing on one or more people.

Foot Worship

Eroticism and submission intertwine in foot worship. The sub might have to clean, lick, suck or massage a master or femdom’s feet during foot worship.

Mummification

Mummification might make you chuckle a bit, but it’s the act of restraining a submissive partner by wrapping them up like a mummy and leaving only their head or breathing holes exposed. You can use cling film for this, various plastic, cloth, bandages, etc. Those who indulge in this type of play get excited by being helpless and bound.

As said, these just some of the most common terms and acronyms in BDSM. To cover them all wouldn’t be practical, but after reading this, even a total beginner will have a firm grasp on widely used ones. If you think we’ve missed something important, please let us know in the comments.

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